Fake Football Friday - Disney (Part II)

When you were growing up, did you ever wonder what would happen if your favorite cartoon/tv show/movie characters decided to play football? Who would play what position? Of course you did, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this blog. Well, every Friday we'll answer that question for you.

Here is the followup to the widely popular Fake Football Friday Disney article.

On to the offense:

QB - Aladdin (Aladdin) To start, his physical abilities are perfect for a quarterback. He is swift enough to roll-out off the play action and has the arm to make cannon throws. He is smart enough to run the most complex of offenses, but can also improv when needed to. But the most impressive feat is his toughness. He is a street rat that decided to go up against the second most powerful man in Agrabah, then take on a sorcerer, then a freakin genie. He never stands down at any point. Dwight Freeny coming at him? Piece of cake.

RB - Robin Hood (Robin Hood) Swift, light footed, and never seems to go down (even a firing squad of archers don't take him down), all the qualities you want in a running back.

FB - Grumpy (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) At fullback, you basically want your dirtiest player who can get up a move a pile, while occasionally catching a pass out the back field. Oh yeah, and straight up nasty helps too. 

WR - Tigger (Winnie the Pooh) With great agility and unnatural leaping ability, Tigger has the looks of a great speed receiver. Although with his antics may get on some nerves and the fact he is close relative to a bengal, he's one arrest away from being traded to Cincy.

WR - Goofy (Various) Big tall receiver who would be willing to block in the mold of Hines Ward. But, even with his new trophy, pretty sure Goofy is a better dancer though.

TE - Genie (Aladdin) A good tight end can make a quarterback's job much easier, especially in the red zone. Genie would be strong enough to help out in the running game, tall enough to help out in the red zone, and fast enough to spread the field. With his skill set, Aladdin really has never seen a friend like him.

T - Mr. Incredible (The Incredibles) Mr. Incredible has the pure strength to stand up to any bull rush and has the quick feet to move with the best of speed rushers. In reality, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't need another person at all on the line.

G - Pumba (Lion King) Anything that is willing to hunt grubs would be perfect for battling down in the trenches.

C - Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame) The Hunchback already has perfect leverage for handling big nose tackles and definitely has the strength to move them out of the way. He'd also be the try-hard guy of the team also finishing plays and running down field on every possible running play.

G - Horace (Various) Going old school with the Horace selection here. But who better to serve as a workhorse guard than an actual horse? Horace provides the hard nose attitude needed for a guard while also nimble enough to get out in front when he pulls.

T - Baloo (Jungle Book) Big strong and has a little fight in him. Furthermore, he'd do anything to protect those he's taking care of.

OC - Merlin (Sword in the Stone) Cam Cameron, Mike Martz, Al Saunders. All said to be offensive wizards. Then who better to coordinate our offense than an actual wizard. He always comes up with creative solutions (such as becoming a bacteria to win a battle). In addition, he has experience mentoring young talents. Give him a week to prepare and he would utilize all his weapons to the fullest capacity

GM - Doc (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) Smart and savvy enough to assemble the best of teams. Plus as the top appraiser of jewels, he has built a keen eye for acquiring value which would be put to use in free agency.

Public Relations - Timon (Lion King) No one would be better at promoting a team than him. If nothing else, he could always dress in drag and do the hula.

Owner - Scrooge McDuck (Duck Tales) Deep pockets.

Mascot - Roger Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) This crazy monkey lover would do anything for a laugh

Catering - Mrs. Potts / Entire Kitchen (Beauty and the Beast) The best gourmet chef for possible for to keep the box seats happy

Concessions - Mad Hatter / March Hare (Alice in Wonderland) While all the high rollers get the fancy cooking, the regular guys get the chaos of regular concessions. Mad Hatter and the March Hare provide the perfect combination of disarray and tasty treats. Besides think of all the great promotions they'd come up with! Free hot-dog on your Un-Birthday! Pure money maker.

Referee - Cogsworth (Beauty and the Beast) The guy is a freakin' clock. Come on!

Head Coach - The one, the only . . . . .. Mickey Mouse! Iconic as Belichek, likeable as Dungy, and more successful than Noll, Walsh, and Gibbs combined. Mickey has everything necessary to lead this team to victory. Players respect, hard work ethic, the brains for creative schemes, a little magic up his sleeve, his own fan club, and an impeccable win-loss record.