When you were growing up, did you ever wonder what would happen if your favorite cartoon/tv show/movie characters decided to play football? Who would play what position? Of course you did, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this blog. Well, every Friday we'll answer that question for you.
This week:
What would happen if Disney characters decided to play football? And sorry, no villains allowed; only the good guys. Here is our starting defense:
DE - Beast (Beauty and the Beast) A literal animal, Beast is the ideal build to set the edge. Strong enough to stand his ground in the running game and quick enough to get around the best of tackles, Beast would be a good bet for 12-15 sacks a year.
DT - Little John (Robin Hood) Maybe not the most tenacious player, but at his size he would plug up the running game and command a double team on every play. Think Pat Williams.
DT - Kruk (Emperor's New Groove) Again, not the most tenacious, but strong enough to hold his ground and quick enough to penetrate as a 3 technique.
DE - Sully (Monsters Inc) Pairing Sully with Beast gives us two dynamic feared pass rushers that both hold up against the run. Sully makes this a pick your poison defensive front
OLB - Tarzan (Tarzan) Quick enough to swipe apes and strong enough to kill a leopard, I think he'll do just fine on the weak side.
MLB - Simba (Lion King) The king of Pride Lands makes a perfect fit as leader of the defense. When Scar jumps through the flame to attack Simba, he looks completely bad ass. Now imagine that's Simba (who has to be twice as jacked) pouncing on a scat back like Jerious Norwood. Can we say another year on IR?
OLB - Hercules (Hercules) A mortal who defeats every monster he comes across and can hang with the gods? Just try coming across the middle against this guy.
FS - Stitch (Lilo & Stitch) If a good coach could reign him in, Stitch would be the perfect safety. Able to make up ground, but also strong enough to jar the ball loose when necessary.
SS - Donald Duck (Various) Not much can get in his way when he's angry. Also, not too many people can understand him. Can anyone say Troy Polamalu?
CB - Peter Pan (Peter Pan) If he was allowed to fly, this would be a no-brainer. Even without flying though, he's quick and agile enough to handle most receivers and smart enough to bait the quarterback into throwing a few picks
CB - Mulan (Mulan) Seriously, is there anything this girl can't do? Anybody that take down Attila the Hun nearly single handed would be alright at any position. We put here for her combination of speed and strength, not to mention giving our secondary some size to cover taller receivers.
K - Jack (Nightmare before Christmas) His long legs and calm composure lends perfect for clutch field goals
P - Rabbit (Winnie the Pooh) He's got to be able to do something with those big feet right? If not, he'd be useless (just like punters are 98% of the time)
KR - Max (A Goofy Movie) We like him. He's good enough to make the team, but not necessarily good enough to start. Sounds like the perfect special teams player.
Special Teams Players - Tweedledee and Tweedledum (Alice in Wonderland) Who wants to go running down field to bust up a wedge? Who wants to get run over protecting the punter? Who wants all the glory of being a long snapper or holder? These guys will do just fine.
DC - Br'er Rabbit (Song of the South) Br'er Rabbit causes enough pain to Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear barely trying. Furthermore, he does it all with his head, most of the time never touching either of them. Give him a week to prepare for an offense and watch what crazy schemes he can come up with.
What are thoughts? Anybody dare to go up against this fearsome defense?
Next friday we'll unveil the offense with a few surprises, especially at quarterback.
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